bittersweet solitude of a fireflower

Where Is She?
October 15, 2014, 10:37 am
Filed under: Emo Binge

Because I remember how you used to be, and I believe that’s still who you are deep down inside. And I’m waiting for that girl to come back to me.

But… She’s no longer around. Not here at the moment. She comes out once in a while, takes a peep around before retreating into her secret haven. Before you notice her presence, she’s already gone. And even when she tries to leave her mark, you would brush it away, like an eraser removing an accidental pencil mark.

She wants to be her again. Really. But you aren’t helping.



That Old Jazz
October 8, 2014, 8:02 pm
Filed under: Oozing Overload

The night was foggy. He held her hand, grasping it tighter as they crossed the road.

The night was quiet. There weren’t many people at the cafe. As they lounged on chairs that reminded them of their grandfathers, that old jazz came playing.

Louis Armstrong. Natalie Cole. Frank Sinatra. Teresa Teng. Fei Yu Qing.

Classics, covers, flooding their ears. She bobbed along to the groovy ones, and melted away with the smooth ones. He sat, and watched.

Long time no see, he whispered. Last week felt like forever. It’s only been 5 days, she replied, knowing that 5 days felt like forever too.

I miss you. Me too.

For some reason, they couldn’t take their eyes off each other. He blinked, and she blinked back, eyelashes fluttering like flirting butterflies.

Love, B
October 8, 2014, 7:04 pm
Filed under: Emo Binge

It’s time, to place all those special memories into this little glass bottle.

I still miss that simple love, the untainted, the pure, the sweet love. But it’s not mine to keep. Sometimes, love just ain’t enough.

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20 October 2008
September 3, 2014, 10:14 am
Filed under: Emo Binge

It’s been almost 6 years, and yet this memory has never really faded away. Sometimes it seemed so crystal clear, as if it had only happened yesterday.

He wasn’t one I would ever want to hurt. But I did in the end. And I’m glad I did, because he wouldn’t have found her and be happily married now.

Sorry, but thank you.

Got an email from him, and since I’ve not been checking my email, I only saw it two days ago, three days after he had sent it.

I hope he didn’t think I was dao.

I just feel so darn guilty. Poignant, it was, right to my heart.

But for what it’s worth, in those few days, i was happy, really happy. i had someone i could start to love. Someone loved me. i did not need to be on guard, i could stop being cynical about things. When i held your hand, it seemed like there was nothing else that mattered in the world.

But… I no longer have the courage to contact him. At least not now.

I just dun feel that I can face him the same way again… for now.

And i still think about you. i still miss you. i hate myself for it, but i still do, and i’m not sorry about it.

So do I.

Oh well.

Let Them All In, Those Emotions
August 17, 2014, 12:07 pm
Filed under: Sensory Indulgence

August 14, 2014, 1:15 pm
Filed under: Emo Binge, Oozing Overload

The evening was cool – it had rained earlier, and the road glistened under the moonlight with a tinge of silver. He walked on her left, and held her hand. It felt strange; she wasn’t used to holding hands this way, but never mind that. They wanted to look for ice cream, but the store was crowded, and it looked like it would be a long wait.

His hand reached for her waist, and he kissed her lips gently with a cheeky grin. She could see the boyness in his eyes, even though he was old at heart. I love you, he whispered. They strolled up and down the walkway, attempting to find a little corner they could call their own, but none could be found. After closing another store’s door behind them, they wrapped their arms around each other in an embrace. She tried to breathe in as much of him as she possibly could before she started choking, but remembered that they were outside where walls had ears and chairs had eyes.

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O Captain, My Captain
August 13, 2014, 1:42 pm
Filed under: Emo Binge

So one of the world’s funniest men had passed away, and many are left confused, lost, depressed.

I am one of them.

When I first read the news, I felt this deep sense of sadness. It wasn’t just “sad”, and it’s not even close to “very sad”. This sense of sadness is extreme, and mildly disturbing. I never even met this guy before, so why is it that his death had such an impact?

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