bittersweet solitude of a fireflower


Impetus
June 15, 2016, 9:36 am
Filed under: Daily Escapades

Is change possible?

It’s been almost 9 months. There is not one day I go by not thinking of you. The mistake I’ve made because of my cowardice. The mistake I’ve made because of my lack of strength in You.

I was so afraid, and still am. I want to be strong, yet I am weak. I want to stay, yet I should leave. It’s never fair, and it will never be. I try to give and trust.

But, I’m mistaken. Again. 

So what is it? I wish it is love. But I no longer know. It’s heart breaking. Heart wrenching.

I just wish to be loved. Protected. And I would do anything.



Pillow Talk
April 30, 2016, 11:02 am
Filed under: Daily Escapades

We lay in bed, getting ready to sleep. 

I closed my eyes to prepare myself for the dream world and the light snoring ahead.

Suddenly, a whisper. 

“Can I tell you something?”

“Mmm?”

“I like you joining me in my endeavours.”

A pleasant surprise, and an uncanny coincidence. He answered a question I had in mind for a long time coming. His words poured over me, like warm vanilla over bread pudding. So squishy. So fuzzy.

“I love you, dear. Often I invalidate myself, but I love you so.”

I love you too.



Oh, Love
November 26, 2014, 12:01 pm
Filed under: Daily Escapades

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”

– Pablo Neruda



Does He exist?
November 16, 2014, 7:00 pm
Filed under: Daily Escapades

Is it true, that He knows it all? That He knows that at the end of the day, I really didn’t want to leave and He plans for things to happen?

Then, does He know that I really want to be there till the end of time, that I want to love him?

Of course, then again, someone else may enter and change it all?

After all, love is abundant.



Abyss
November 2, 2014, 5:28 pm
Filed under: Daily Escapades

Probably the worst shit ever.



J’s First Outing
October 18, 2011, 1:21 pm
Filed under: Daily Escapades, The Little One

20111018-131237.jpg
Sleeping soundly after his first Hep B jab – he is 4.155kg and 54 cm long now!

Yesterday was the first time we brought J out for an extended period of time and it was a huge success 🙂 having him in the carrier was liberating and he managed to sleep in it as well. We visited my gynae for the last time (for now; Hubs wants to have another one soon, though…), my colleagues in school (he cried the whole staff room down, but they didn’t mind and instead added a lot of “oohs” and “awwws”), and finally the polyclinic for his first jab ever since we left the hospital. It was a wonderful feeling being able to walk around with him, and we are entirely convinced that we could travel with him in the future.

Which brings me to talk about the Japan trip that we had wanted to embark on to visit Hubs’ sister’s family – she is willing to sponsor our air tickets for our first anniversary gift! We are really tight on cash having bought (and done up) the new place plus having J, and we were honestly very broke. But Hubs’ sister has always been encouraging and feels that we should travel as early as we could. We are so going to make this work! Am very excited – hope it’ll all work out fine 🙂



One Of Those Days
August 11, 2011, 2:58 pm
Filed under: Daily Escapades, The Little One

Feeling the funk and all. Thank goodness I only had 3 lessons today and could scoot off after school.

The Braxton-Hicks contractions are coming along quite regularly these days. My stomach feels quite tight at times and I’m feeling crampy almost all of the time. I feel lethargic a lot of the time and I’m seriously starting to look forward to my break before the chaos soon. Baby J has been moving quite a lot lately, be it wiggling or jabbing me in the weirdest areas. But I’m beginning to feel a lot of pressure in my pelvic area… hope all will be fine.

To make myself feel better, I shall eat ice cream and take a nap – a rarity these days! 🙂

Snoozing with my Husky and Tammy